Sunday, September 26, 2004

Just to Keep Things Right- Confession Time

Well, I have broken just about every rule I have set for myself on the rehabilitation program.

You probably have noticed before, but I have been off the diet for a while.
I havent been doing the exercise thing.
I have been waking up and not touching my hair or putting in my contacts, or touching up with makeup- although I did manage to find some face cream I was allergic to. Made me bright red and puffy hot and itchy for a day.
I have not gone to class every day- in fact, I've skipped about 3 of every class except for Steve's. I havn't gotten the binders fixed either for them.
I havn't kept my apartment clean- I have two bags of trash on the patio, and at least two loads of dirty laundry on the floor, plus a sink full of dirty knives.
I have some serious exams coming up, and I have been watching anime the entire time I should have been studying, or working on my research paper.

All in all, I have been completely lazy. I have nothing to show for the past month, and I am putting off getting back on the right track. I know I want to wait till after this Tuesday, just let everything go this time and say I will do better the next time. Only I dont get a reset button and this really counts- so that leaves me pushing myself to get motivated to not fall asleep mid-chapter of what is a really good book.

I should throw out the candy I bought- except I paid good money for it. Do I have the willpower to keep it in the house and not eat anymore of it? I am not sure. Thus far, no. I still havn't gained a whole lot of weight back though. Which is good. I am only up 2 lbs for my giant transgressions. I need to go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, and stop taking the 40 acres bus around. More walking. Also figuring out something for lunch would be good as well.

How should I get back on track? I cant spend tomorrow cleaning and preparing myself for another round of defeating my lazies. I guess I could work at it a bit- and get my binders prepared. Go to bed early, get up and get my shit in order.

I wonder if I can wait until monday to work on the essays and analyzation... that way I could do all of the arc 318 work and learn the slides and vocab, finish the book and figure out what elements would be easiest to talk about. Then use Monday morning to take pictures and then meet up with Jinny for Govt review. I could then use Monday night to do the analyzations... maybe I should skip Jinny study time. We tend to talk too much anyway... that moves govt to Sunday work, and I have all of Monday to wander from building to building and do the analyzations. That sounds better, if not so fair to the Jinny.

But all of that leaves only Wednesday to work on the research paper... no choice though. Life will go on... and on. Laters.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Been Tough, Gonna Get Tougher

Yeah.. my sleeping goal of regular bedtimes is shot through for the whole semester. I can see it now. It was a nice idea but not possible. Regular posts for the next few weeks are gonna be unlikely as well.

As for an update on last Weds through this glorious Saturday... I played Wednesday. Did not bring Jinny the paper she asked. Did not go to the lecture that evening. Waited and played on NeoPets page and watched anime. Good anime. I felt guilty come around midnight, thus stayed up and organized arc 350R binderm, printing out all emails.

Thursday I went to class like a good girl. I stayed awake even. I talked with Jinny all through government. I have given up trying to take notes in that class, the man is so boring. Instead of learning, I am going to play the class. He has it set up so that even if you fail the first exam, as long as you make As on the last two, you will make an A in the class. Jinny says that he goes over everything during the review- and its all in his lecture notes which she bought. I can borrow. So the book is pointless there, and I am not going to read. Which is sad- I should see if I can return it.

This particular stratagy will be especially helpful in the upcoming weeks. After turning in paper 1 (which was a joke of 300 words) for arc 308, we recieved paper # 2 (which is not a joke). Its due in 2 weeks. This in itself is not bad. However, next Tuesday begins a volley of exams which will have my head spinning. Tuesday we get the 5 essay topics for arc 308 so we can prepare them. Thursday is the first psychology exam. Multiple choice, but nasty multiple choice according to his review. The Tuesday after that is the exam for Government, ARC 308, and ARC 318. Together the two architecture courses have over 200 slides to memorize. NOW add in the paper, and the hours at the library for research and writing center.... thats not a fun schedule. Then Steve and his policy of never turning off the class- all the emails. Plus I am still waiting for them to call me back and tell me to come to work. So in all liklihood I will begin teaching my classes in the next two weeks, which takes away my full days. Its a lot.

Yet all of this is not enough to get my ass out of my nightgown today. Actually, I have started to do some useful cleaning up so I am organized when I begin to actually work. But I still have a way to go before everything is back up to standard. I need some kind of energy shot every morning. I have fallen into some kind of lethargic funk. I think the cure could be keeping the music up and the blinds open. Light does wonders for my energy level.

Other news : Kyuubi still doing well on toilet training. The gravel is pretty low now, so I will begin removing the white ring soon so she can see the bottom. Still debating about the tape to reinforce it so she doesnt fall through.

I have gotten much better at neopet games as well. Earned 7 000 in one day- spent them too. Bought property so I can have a house- eventually. Ptekerol is up to level six now as well. Not bad for 25 days old.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

My Amazing Ability of Procrastination

Monday, despite waking up early- 8 am- purposefully, I managed to wait until 5 pm to begin my paper. AFTER the Architecture Library had already closed. I think.

In any case, yeah. I managed to put off my concience and watch anime and play with the neopets website all day long until I had no choice but to stay up all night.

I did the research online, and then stayed up till 5:30 am writing the thing. It was a peice of crap, and one page too short. The citations page was very disorganized. But at least it will give me some points instead of none. I seriously considered not turning it in. I even did the math on what it would take to get an A after that. The prospects werent good. So I wrote it, and we shall see how this goes. Whether he believes that I tried or not, how lenient the TA is, and all that. It should on its own merit get at least 50%, if he is generous, maybe even a C. Either case, it allows me to make a few mistakes on my exams, and low As on the other 3 papers. Which is flat out easy.

I actually managed to stay in class all day on Tuesday. I thought I would give up and go home, but I stayed awake and took notes just fine- after a nap in Jester on my break.

Steve played a movie in class- Return of the Navaho boy. Once again, I don't know how to respond to where its related to architecture. I can only go so far as to say the movie felt somewhat cliche, the area was harsh, the houses were barren and broken downish, and the idea of home he asked us to consider... well... its not a place but the relations. Where you are most comfortable- be it with blood relations or complete strangers. But how does that relate architecturally? I have no idea how to respond... and I think that I should send him an email telling him this. But its embarassing to do so. I hate admiting the class is over my head.

But I cant go on not doing the assignments without explaination. I have to participate in some way, and I am not doing it now.

I also need to find out about work- they havn't contacted me yet, and I am sure the paperwork has gone through by now.

Monday, September 13, 2004

A Two Dayer more like a One Dayer...

Because of simply one thing : NOTHING HAPPENED.

I watched anime, and thought about doing my papers which are due next week. I will have to do them tomorrow, because next week = Tuesday.

Other than that, I did dishes once, cleaned the litter box, and did one load of laundry which is still in my chair.

Lazy am I.

The highlight was when Kyuubi fell in the bathtub after thinking she could balance on the rim and get a drink. Oh, and she also had her first experience with bubbles. It was cute- but by no means a headliner for the papers.

Um... Steve's class.. about the only one I have really been "in"- I like it but I dont like participating. Well, answering/asking questions. Which is normal for me- except I am getting graded on my questions.

Basically, he sent out this gorgeous email/reading he wanted us to do, and then respond to. My response is pretty much wow, as well as recognizing a lot of literary elements and the abundance of references to architecture in nature and lots of circular patterns with life cycles... but the only written response I want to/ am able to give is "can required reading really be a gift?" in response to the title "a gift of required reading".... yeah.. Im chicken. Sarcastic sour chicken that someone forgot to add the sweet sauce to.

Edited to reflect that on Saturday out of bordom I accidentally pulled out most of my left eyebrow. Thats how bad it was this weekend.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Woo HOO (and long ass post part II)

Okay, I know its been a while, but last time I tried to post- see long ass post- it wouldnt let me. It wouldnt even put up the long ass post for me until tonight. But for some reason the blogger god is working tonight- maybe off of vacation?- and it went up.

So- since I cut the long ass post in half to see if it was just the length (yes, it really was THAT long at first), here is the rest of the update:

Okay, I left off on Saturday afternoon. After we hung out at the BBQ stand for a while, playing with kittens and looking at the new menu ideas, dad and I left for the shooting range. It was awsome. First time we had been there, but very nice and clean. I especially liked the way the entrance hall twisted and turned- I think it was a security thing, no straight getaway in case anyone was stupid enough to try to break the rules or commit a crime in a building where by definition everyone is armed...

In any case, I shot the .22 and the glock, and mom's small gun she keeps in her purse. I did well with all of them- very rarely missing kill zones, and the majority of the time being within an inch of center shot. Mostly that was with the .22 at 7 yards- but I did push it out to 15 and had 5 out of 7 shots hit the center. The glock was a little less accurate because of the kick. Last time I was afraid to shoot it, but I forced myself to empty two clips, and by the end of it I was feeling fairly comfortable with it. Especially compaired to moms little gun, which was next. I am not sure what it is, but its so small you cant get a firm grip on it, and there is no weight to help counter its huge kick. I was an average of 3 inches off center with it at 7 yards.

I did shoot one clip at close range- 3 yards. Of course, practically perfect. Dad told me the exam was mostly at close range, and only one at seven. Not to mention the targets used for handgun licenses are much larger kill zones. Basically, he was saying that as long as I can remember range etiquite (ie no pointing the gun to the side when loading/cocking/anything) and do decent on the written exam, I could go in cold and pass with flying colors. I shot almost as well as he did- but he hadnt been to the range in a really long time. I hadn't either, but I didn't want to say that. In any case, it felt good to be out there again. I was actually jumping at the sound of the shots the first minute or two, it had been so long.

Sarah was supposed to meet me that night, but she never did. It bothers me a little that she didn't think I was important enough to come see me, even though I am only in town once every three or four months for a few days at a time. At the same time, I am not going to arrange my schedule around her anymore. I have a life, and she will either fit herself into my schedule, or she wont. But I am tired of being the only one who makes the effort. She can go to a movie with her sister any day of the week- but I am on limited time.

Sunday we got up around 4 am to go to lake Ray Roberts. It was a beautiful day, with a light breeze and few clouds. I didn't catch a thing, but dad caught two bass. Mainly it was nice to be out there and talking with everyone again, and to feel the slow rocking of the boat and see the birds around Wolf Island. However, they had no sunscreen on the boat, and I got badly burned. Even though I hid under a towel and jacket. I find it hilarous all the times they tried to force sunscreen on me, and when I finally go for it myself, its not there.

We went back home at a decent hour, and watched more movies together. At some point, dad and I walked up to the school with winston to break in my new hiking boots a bit. He is getting old. He was heavier than last time I saw him, and he didnt keep up as well. He used to never stop running, but he was ready to lie down in the shade once we got up to the playground.

Monday morning was nice- we got up around ten, and mom made steak and eggs, with extras of chicken and grilled shrimp and veggies. I got to take a lot of that home and it was awsome. We packed up the stereo and television, then last second dad decided I needed an oil change before I left. Off we went to Pepboys- and we got a free oil change because it took an hour and a half. I would almost have prefered the time because that put me getting home at six- floring it.

But Marcus was still happy to help me get the television and things up the stairs. Wonderful as that boy is, we fight like cats and dogs. Cant agree on whether something is blue or green, or who should go up the stairs first. But we managed, and I got the system partly hooked up before we went to the Tai Noodle House for dinner. I got some weird green curry thing that wasnt really curry and had green beans in it. It was disturbing.

But afterwards I took him home, and ended up staying over really late. We got caught up in a television show- what not to wear- and then Marcus wanted to show me his army, and his room. Its frightening to think he said he cleaned all weekend- and it was so bad I was afraid to walk in it. Everything on the floor, and just a giant mess. But it took a whole weekend to get to that point... I fear what he calls messy.

In any case- on to Tuesday. I did nothing. I was too tired to go to class. Fell asleep in the first one, and then went home until Steve's class at 3. Wednesday I spent watching anime, and then hooking up the rest of the system and putting up my new Mezzuzah. Jinny came over at 8, and we watched Practical Magic, then talked. She ended up staying the night, and once again I was too tired for classes. I woke her up so she could go, then went back to bed, and watched anime until Steve's class.

Friday is today. I went to class. Well, discussion. I also discovered I have not one, but two papers due next week. But fortunately they are small, and I will manage somehow. However I still want to watch anime, and I need to catch up on reading as well as laundry.

Kyuubi had adventures today- she discovered bubbles, fell in the bathtub with me, and then turned over my travel bag ontop of herself, thoroughly scaring me. But she is okay- I checked her out well. Now she sleeps in my arms with the wrist rest of my keyboard as a pillow.

As for anything else, I either dont remember, or dont want to put it in, or well, it aint here. Hopefully the blogger god will be kind and favor me, and allow me to continue to enter blogs tomorrow and the next day and so forth.


Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Long Ass Post

Okay, so this is the horror of all horrors- its been... six days since my last blog? But I have reasons... well, not really. But at the time I thought I did.

So.. the sad thing is, I cant remember everything that happened, obviously. But the last time I posted was pretty much.. um... last Wednesday. Which was Kyuubi's first vet visit. She had a cold, and was assigned eyedrops and nose drops for the cure. And she no longer sneezes. That is a plus. She is now her noisy, boistrous self, without sinus pain. She has done anything but calm down though. I need a better water gun. She wont let me do anything, or be alone at all. Cats are supposed to be somewhat independent... she is not.

Last Thursday.. what do I remember about it? It was a good day. I was excited and thought I was going to pack to go home. Instead I was lazy and watched Card Capturor Sakura all afternoon. I could pack on Friday morning.

I woke up and went to discussions on Friday. I was awsomely giddy due to lack of sleep, and thus a bit uninhibited. I apparently asked good questions of my TA in the first session, because he was supposed to be looking it up for me, and his own interest, this weekend. Something about the location of the choir vs the crossing of early basilican form churches. Pretty neat stuff huh? The next discussion was even more awsome. I walked around a new building I had never seen before, and was way early. As a result I greeted most of the people who came in, and asked them questions. They said I was like a TA. *shrugs* Didn't mean for it to be that way, but it was nice. The guy I sat next to walked me back to the bus stop after class. He was really nice. I wish I could remember his name. It was something pretty difficult...oo oo Oggy. That was his nick name because his real name people had trouble with- Ogustus.. with a toos sound at the end.

I got away from the apartment with Kyuubi around 12:30, and forgot to check for my contacts- but did manage to pay rent 2 days late. I said there was traffic, but I made kick ass time. Kyuubi was noisy until she fell asleep, and then it was pretty smooth from there. Although I have never experienced such long 6 minute periods in my life. Time seems to drag when driving long distances, and I have not mastered the cruise control button, or looking at the scenery while paying attention to the road.

Getting there was awsome. I let Kyuubi walk around on her leash in the front yard for a while, and discovered that the rumors of giant misquitos were not false. One bite can drain a mans limb and make a bump the size of a second head. Mom got home and we talked until dad came home. He got mad that we werent ready and kicked us out rather quickly. I thought he was being an overly demanding butt.

Mom and I went to the restraunt ahead to get a table and uncle mike and grandma and grandpa joined us as well as dad. It was a nice dinner. They really are very funny. We drove the waitress insane. I got the best dish as well. Stuffed Salmon Alexander- basically salmon stuffed with a seafood stuffing, covered ina white wine and seafood sauce, over dirty rice. Of course, just about everything at Papadaux is good, but this was one of the best I have had anywhere- and thats saying something.

Everyone yelled at me for driving until the light went on for gas, so I had to go get gas after dinner while they all went to the house again for a movie and dessert. Which I did happily. When I got home I had a huge shock. A GIANT TV in my room, with a dvd player, tuner and 5 speaker surround sound system. I thought mom and dad got them a tv for their room at first and hadnt put it in yet. But apparently, it was mine!! Someone at work had asked them to take away their 'old' (read that as not the newest model on the market) television when dad went to install their new system. Ray said dad could have it, and it was 1 inch larger than their tv, and wouldnt fit in the cabinate. Thus it went to me. And mom used some light persuasion for him to buy me a decent entertainment system to go along with it.

The rest of the night was spend with mema and papa and everyone else around the desserts, and then a really awful movie. We played with Kyuubi for a while- who spent the majority of the weekend locked in my old room, or the middle bedroom away from Winston- and then went to bed at a decent hour.

Saturday I woke up at ten, and ate leftovers with dad while discussing the day. I was supposed to have plans with Sarah, but she didnt answer her phone, and I have learned better than to wait on her anymore. So we settled on at first getting fishing licenses renewed, and some hiking boots for me, and then visiting mema and papa- which I had promised to do the night before. I found some great shoes at Academy- although it irks me they only had 3 types of hiking boots for women to choose from.

We then hung out at mema and papa's for a while. I took an order at the window and worked the machine while snacking on papa's beans and chopped beef. He also cooked some fish for us- tilapia fillets. I can't believe it has taken them this long to get to liking fish. As dad put it, "they act like they discovered it. But its the same shit everyone's been eating for years except them." But on the upside, its a sign that their tastes are maturing a bit.

I finally got to see the menu's I designed. They look awsomely professional. I did everything, from setting up and taking the photos used, to the spacing and descriptions of items, and even taking them to get printed up before I left last time. Sadly enough, they will not be in use much longer. Since Papa has decided to switch in the BBQ stand for a real restraunt, he gave me a new work order for new menus. I have to do a lunch and dinner menu- and they are expanding, going to do some seafood as well as steaks, bbq, and other country traditionals.

He wants to call it the Bear Creek Cafe. Dad and I kinda feel he should keep the name Jim in there somewhere, that way the customers know it is the same person, and he can keep his current patronage. Also, I think the Bear Creek thing is a bit cheesy... but its papa. I would prefer he do something like Jim's Whisky Flats BBQ and SteakHouse. I mean... the place may officially be called Bear Creek- but everyone knows it as Whisky Flats. As long as you define what it is, no one can mistake it for a bar. Especially with Mema's gingerbready decor... I dunno.. maybe I could help her with that once they get a bit farther along in the plans. In any case, I have to draw up some detailed menu sketches/plans. I have yet to get the actual information that goes on there- seeing as they are adding a lot more to the menu. But this time, he wants them full length, a possible foldy one, and full color. How I integrate the idea of a seafood and a country steak house restraunt, along with his motif of a bear and her cub in a mountain stream... thats a challenge left up to me. But isnt that the job of a commissioned artist? To make what the customer wants meld with the ideas that need to be represented in a coherent and complete way? Their suggestions have been bears in creek picture at top with lettering in the round, and little shrimps for boarders. I think not so much. But they do want both represented in the signs and menus. I have a year to work it out- menus, signs, and waiting area pictures. I even get my two cents in to the blue prints for the building itself- how the kitchen should be and the counter and stuff.

If being an architect doesnt work out, maybe I can in the far future give his restraunt a tweak or two, get certified as a chef, and help out there as one of the cooks and/or hostess/bookkeeping. Athough that would be somewhat sad, cause I would give up what I really wanted to do.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Two Day Update

It seems to have become a pattern lately, as I have been a bit tired. Monday was another sleepless night. I took Kyuubi to the groomers, and that was about it though. Should have done a lot more- that way I would have been prepared for class today.

Today was rough. Well, more likely, I was tired from taking care of Kyuubi, and staying up all night watching anime, and then had a rough end of the day with Steve and his waay overdemanding but awsome class. Steve is going to kill me, and I am going to enjoy it in some masochistic way.

They were arguing in class today, and over what I will never know. They were talking so far above me, not in technical terms, but just pure vocabulary. I was doing my best to follow, but got very litte out of it- other than I have to prepare myself a hell of a lot more than what I did this time. I need to think about things carefully before I come to class, because I simply cannot form an articulate oppinion on a random question I have never thought about in three seconds. But I can think about the questions he posed today and last time, and write out what I think and look up what others have said, and form my own better oppinion based on that- or at least get an idea of a kind of answer. Currently I feel like he is giving me questions over words that have no precise definition in everyday use, and almost none in the theoretical sense that he talks about them.

I can form an oppinion on most anything, I think, as long as I understand what is being said, and I have a basic idea of what the nouns imply in the question... but that aint happening. At least not yet. If this doesn't get better, I might start bringing my tape recorder to class, and then looking up words when I get home.

As for Kyuubi and her first day alone- she didn't like it. She was good, an angel even. But I dont confuse that with being okay with it. She has clung tight to me ever since I got home. Wont even leave me to go eat. She waits till I am in the room to grab something from her bowl. She even ventured into the bath with me today, just because she was afraid I would dissappear again. She is very cute, but this worries me that she is so upset over me missing. So long as she doesnt act out.. it might be okay though.